I made it 🙂 Have moved (most of) my stuff out of Swan Street, Gordon Park. I will miss that apartment 🙁 It has been home now for a couple of years, and it has been nice and cosy. I will miss the sunny weekends sprawled on a towel by the brook, reading, drinking coffee, listening to music, trying to study… Alas, now it is time to move on… But where to I ask? I am now staying with a friend, who has kindly offered me a place to store my things and a spare room to sleep in, for which I am very grateful.  I would also like to thank those of you who also offered me a place to crash for a while 🙂 When the real estate agent finds someone to move in to my apartment, I will then begin the search for my own space. Nothing elaborate, just a place to call home… minus the flat mate. I pray I find somewhere soon!

This week I am off to Cairns (Palm Cove) for my beautiful friend Charlene’s wedding. I am really looking forward to the catch up with old friends and also to spending some quiet time away to ponder the question “where to from here?” 12 months ago ‘I’ was certain of the direction my life was going take, now everything is different. I am different, my life is different, my perspective, hopes, dreams, desires, and purpose have all changed radically in the space of 6 months. I geuss you could say I have had a massive shake up, a shake up that was desperately needed, a complete shift in who I am and what I stand for in this life. I now know what truly matters, and what is best to let go of.

I do not know what my future holds. That would have made the old me anxious, but the new me is embracing this uncertainty, in complete faith, with curious excitement 🙂

God bless.

Amanda x

It is amazing how many memories can be stuffed in to one small drawer. The random photos, old birthday cards, valentines cards, letters, journals, diaries, all those things you cannot bring yourself to throw away. Today I am going through that drawer (or drawers in my case). It is a strange mix of sadness as I remember broken promises and love lost, and hope as I look toward the future with a renewed sense of purpose in my life. I find myself letting go, throwing things out, and taking a deep breath as I realise the person I was, the person I am today, and the person I desire to be in the future.

God Bless you.

Amanda x

Truth and lies are sometimes hard to tell apart. What does that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach mean? Is it the truth? Or, is it caused by lies, in disguise of the truth? I cannot tell the difference right now. There is a huge boulder in my path and I don’t know if it is real, or if it is a lie, all I know is that it is too heavy to shift on my own. I do know that it is eating away at me, and wearing me down as I try to discern where it has come from. Is it a warning, an instinct? Or, was it planted by the enemy, as a means of sabotaging my journey? I know only one person has the answers to my questions… I am just not sure I should ask. What if I am wrong? My mind is a battleground, and I am not sure who to fight for. I don’t know which voice to silence, and I don’t know who I can trust. If these feelings and thoughts are true, I am the fool. If they are untrue, I am also the fool. I am holding the white flag… I surrender. Lord Jesus, give me peace, teach me how to recognise your voice above all the noise.

Amanda.